Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts

10 Feb 2012

Creativity of man facing infertile women

Women who are entering the brain can affect male fertility. The man who was conversing with fertile women are more likely to seek creative sentence structure that indicates fitness.
The researchers found that when a young man talking to a woman who was in the fertile period of her menstrual cycle, the youth will react to small changes in facial color, sound and scent of a woman's body. These changes enable the desire to marry a man and cause him to change the way he spoke.

Free Sex and Sex Problems in College Students


Sexual problems are often college kids to be highlighted because of times like this is the time when someone starts a sexual desire is not married but collided norm. What are the college kids about sex?
As quoted from the book Questions Kids Ask About Sex, written by J. Thomas Fitch and Melissa R. Cox, published ANDI, Friday (02/10/2012) there are some problems or questions that descend sex college students, namely:

8 Feb 2012

Why husband More Like Masturbation?

Doc, what do normal that sex once a week? Since it was first married in 4 years ago until now we have sex once a week to 10 days sometimes do not do it because my husband rarely asks to have sex, and she likes to masturbate. Why husband prefers masturbation? Thank you.

Ana (Female Married 28 Years), suzzan_XXXXX@yahoo.co.id
Height 155 cm and weight 56 Kg

17 Sept 2011

interesting experience

when your legs are broken
may have in mind you are not very exciting, of course, but do you know that if we be grateful, we will not feel to be a weak and useless. instead of where we can learn by what is called patience and sincerity. because most people who experience this kind of thing they would think that all that exists in their lives have been shattered and useless.
but they are wrong, indeed at first I was embarrassed at having to use the creck. but because of support from friends, I was feeling excited and happy. in the first days I could not do anything to walk alone because it's very heavy. but because of my heart I'm motivated to get well, so I always try to train the muscle-car and tried fatherly foot flex joints are rigid due to the length of bandage. It is very difficult and painful, but in my head I thought "if I do not smebuh then I can not do the activity as usual" well with the motivation that I never gave up in through the day was very tiring. although I have to undergo a test in pain conditions, that I do for the sake of being tough and strong.
so if you have an accident, which you can not make it through the day as usual. then do not think so. you continue to think that it is a very useful and definitely needed. if you have a talent that can not be someone else to do then try fatherly develop and you will get happiness and pleasure.

10 Sept 2011

Hearing Art

Hearing Art
Many people can 'say', butfew are willing to 'hear'.
And if we want to go back to the lawnature, we should be morelisten more than talk.Did not God give us twoears and only one mouth? :-)
Likewise, if we see in infantsnewborn. Auditorymore first serves thanother. Why, then, to hear moredifficult than speaking?
Although invisible to hearis an easy thing, but in factmany people preferlistened to than listen.
Listening is an essential partwhich determines the effective communication.Without the ability to hear the good,typically will arise many problems.
What often happens, we feel thatwe're the most correct. We do notinterested to hear opinionsdifferent and only depends on the wayus.
Always feel right, most competent,and never make mistakes.Duh ... angel time! :-)
If we always feel that we aretrue, and how we're the mostprecisely, it means we neverlistening.
Ideas and our opinions are very difficult tochanged if the facts do not supportour beliefs. Even if there are factselse we may just be simplyJust glance at it.
Maybe this time we are comfortable withour way, but for a period of replylong, people will resist andhate us.
If we want to start listeningothers, then one day we willrealize our mistakes. Answerto overcome this trait isactive listening skills honed.
Hearing is not always with the lidmouth, but also involves the participationwe are active. Good listening is nothope the coming turn to speak.
Listening is a commitment tounderstanding speech and the other person's feelingstalk to us. This is also a form ofappreciation that what otherstalking about is beneficial to us.At the same time we also cantake maximum benefit fromtalks.
Art of listening can build arelationship. If we do itwell, people will be interestedwith us and our interactions willmore harmonious.
The following simple techniques that canBadrut practiced by verynatural to be a listenerGood:
1. Maintain good eye contact with.
    
This indicates to the listener
    
about openness and sincerity
    
we
2. Lean forward.
    
This shows our interest
    
on the subject. This way
    
will also remind us to
    
has sudat of view to another,
    
ie not just focus on yourself
    
us.
3. Create a question when there are things that
    
need clarification or information
    
The new thing we need to investigate the
    
our speaker.
4. Create a distraction talks
    
interesting. This can make
    
conversations more lively and not
    
monotonous.
5. Cuplik or reset some of the words
    
uttered by the speaker us.
    
This shows that we are indeed
    
listen well to the memorized
    
a few snippets of words.
6. Make a commitment to understanding
    
what he says, although we do not
    
love or anger. From here we will
    
know the values ​​of the applied
    
our speaker, which may differ
    
with values ​​that we pursue.
By trying to understand, canso we'll find a point of view,insights, new perceptions or consciousness,which does not occur to uspreviously.
A good listener is actuallyalmost as interesting as the speakersgood. If we are always on the patterncorrect for a certain period,then one day we will feelbenefits.
The process may seem long anddull, but in time they willfeel valuable efforts that have beenwe do. We will feel moregood for ourselves, our relationships,our friends, our children,and employment.
Conclusion: Be a listenerwell, because this trait can bekey to developing the mindpositive, and is oneBadrut ladder to achieve success! :-)



Written by: Anne Ahira

8 Jul 2011

The Myth of State Management

There seems to be this pervasive myth that is running throughout the field of NLP, in fact I’ve even seen it running rampant throughout the entire self help field in general. It’s one of state management, I’ve spoken to some people that swear that a person’s state (the way they feel) should always be controlled (meaning they should always feel good) and that if at any point in time it’s not then there is obviously something wrong with them. I’ve never heard a greater bunch of drivel. A person will never make it to a point where they are always in complete control of their state. It’s just not possible. Physiologically speaking it’s just not. We all do the best we can though and that’s admirable and something to strive for.

Quite often, from my experience the people that are coming to me with this state that they learned it from their self help gurus. I can guarantee you that these gurus are not in complete control of their states in just the way that they want them all the time. Furthermore, I’m fairly certain if given the opportunity the average person could entice any given guru to lose control of their state.

Don’t get me wrong managing your state (doing what you can to feel good) to the best of your ability is an admirable thing and it’s a great thing to do your best exert as much influence over how you feel as you can. And at the same time people need to move past the idea that some guru’s decrees should be taken as gospel. Sometimes it’s okay to be human. I have a friend that went to some personal development training company that shall go unnamed. And she was bragging to me how amazing their training was and at the same time how crazy these people were. She said that she was going to try to get me into one of their public speaking courses and that they just tear people to shreds BUT that just makes them better speakers.

At first I wasn’t interested in attending any of their programs but once she told me they were crazy all of a sudden she piqued my interest. I’ve met some of the biggest names in the field of personal development and I have conversed with some other really well respected and admired trainers in the field as well through email. I have not gotten any indication from any of them that it is absolutely necessary to be in control of your state at all times. If anything I’ve learned that doing such a thing is not possible. However what I have gotten from them is that they all do their best. That seems to be a good thing to follow.


By: Chris Cathey

Relationship Development (page 1)

Introduction:

Man is a social animal. No one can lead a happy life without social relations. All types of relationships include sweet and sore. It is the way we perceive things which makes relations fruitful or harmful. There are certain things to be considered to make a fruitful relationship with others.

Self awareness:

Know your values-both positive and negative and accept them as it is. Knowing yourself is the first step towards a successful relationship. If you have poor self awareness, you are less likely to understand others. Understanding others is the key to successful interpersonal relationships and when you fail to do so, your relationship also fails.

If you have a better understanding of yourself, you will be able to accept your mistakes and correct them. Also, if you know your limitations, you will be able to accept the mistakes of others. Accepting self and others is an important thing in relationships.

Value clarification of others:

Understanding others is also an important factor in relationship. Each individual is different and the behaviour and reactions of an individual is different from time to time. Keeping this in mind, will help us to cope with undesired behaviour from others. 

There are certain aspects of others that we need to clarify. They are:

Belief: Have a better understanding of the pattern of belief others have. Some of the belief patterns are-rational belief, faith and irrational belief. Rational belief is believing something only in presence of an evidence. Faith is believing even when there is no evidence and irrational belief is believing something even when there is an evidence suggesting that it does not exist.

Misunderstanding is common in relationships. The survival of a relationship during misunderstanding is largely depended on the belief patterns of individuals.

Attitudes: Each individual have unique attitudes towards things related to them. A person will have a positive attitude towards something while having negative attitudes towards other things. It is important to clarify the attitudes of your partner (in a relationship)towards things related to your relationship. When there exist a difference in attitude towards certain important things in life, between the partner, it is necessary to understand and accept the attitudes of him/her and adjust with it. This adjustment does not mean that you have to change your attitude, but accept the attitude of your partner.

Values: Every individual have an internal value system developed early in childhood. This value system changes rapidly as a person matures and have experiences of life. It is depended on the value system of family, culture, religion and many other factors. Understanding a person’s value system is inevitable in determining the extend of a relationship. We all expect our partner to be loyal, honest and having good values and morals.

Emotions: Emotional response of an individual is also unique and is depended on the external factors also. Certain emotional response may be unacceptable for us but understanding the emotional response of an individual help us to understand the reasons behind such behaviour and adjust accordingly.


By: Shimil Varghese

Relationship Development (page 2)

Needs: Clarify the needs of your partner. All types of relationships are to be mutually beneficial. The unmet needs of an individual are met during a relationship. This is what makes a relation meaningful. Never hesitate to help your partner. The beauty of relationship is in understanding the needs and fulfilling it even before asked.

Conditions essential to development of a relationship

Rapport: Rapport means the exchange of ideas or communication. Good communication skills are necessary in relationships. Communication helps to clarify the values, understanding each others, identifying the needs of others and to develop trust.

Trust: Trust is an important factor in a relation. We open our heart to people whom we trust. Be honest in actions and conversations. You can say your opinions openly, but with respect to other’s feelings. Criticism should be in such a way that it must help the person to understand own problems and solve them. Criticism arising from love is always in this type and that from selfishness is always harmful.

Respect: Give and take respect. Respect is one of the basic needs of an individual. Respect a person because he is a unique individual. Respect a person because he is another human being.

Genuineness: Artificial or formal talks will make your partner bored. Have some fun and genuineness in your relationship. If you have something to hide from your partner, you will naturally lose your genuineness and he/she will lose trust in you. Avoid anxiety because it will ruin the freedom and you will start talking formally.

Empathy: What is empathy? Empathy is the synchronized feeling with other. For e.g. If your lover had a family problem and she is experiencing depression you can react to it in many ways. One is feeling ‘Oh! Poor girl’ and another is ‘oh my God! I can’t feel better when she is suffering this much’. In the first reaction you have sympathy and in second one you have empathy. Empathy is actually experiencing the feeling of others as our own while in sympathy, we understand others feeling but do not experience it as our own.

Nobody likes sympathy from others. Empathy is a way of telling ‘I am with you’.

Phases of relationship development:

The pre-interaction phase:

As the name suggests, it is the time before two individuals meet each other but has planned for the meeting. This is the preparatory phase. Always remember, first impression is the best impression. Do not plan the conversation in advance. It will not work. Communication should come naturally. Plan for making a better atmosphere in which both of you will feel better.

Orientation phase:

Most of the people feel anxious on their first date. It is normal but do not allow the anxiety to take control over you. Moderate level of anxiety is helpful while uncontrolled anxiety ruins everything. Physical comfort is also important. Do not keep thinking what to say next and keep your mind in what you are saying and listening at present. Conversation is not a planned task. The continuity of a conversation comes from one matter to another which has a relationship between them and so on.


By: Shimil Varghese

Relationship Development (page 3)

It is normal to be anxious and no need to hide it. Your partner will also be experiencing the same and once you let your anxiety come out, it will go away. If you try to hide your anxiety, that will further increase anxiety. The easiest way to avoid anxiety is by letting it to be shown outside.

Working phase:

One the first date or the orientation is over, it is time to explore each other well. Be open to your partner and let her understand you. This will help you to understand her better. This is another give and take policy in relationship. When you assess your partner, try to have an objective look rather than looking in to her with a suspicious manner. Objective assessment is when our personal opinions and prejudices does not interfere with the assessment.

Evaluation phase:

The working phase will be over when you understand your partner correctly. Many relationships will have a full stop at this point. This is because, most of the people will have unrealistic expectations from their partner and when they find out that their expectations were in vein they start disliking each other.

A clear picture of your partner with an open heart to accept their drawbacks will make your relationship strong and beautiful. If there are problems that you can never accept with your partner, you can now think of a break up. If you have such serious reasons and you are trying to adjust with it, makes your life miserable. So if you can’t adjust in any way just say goodbye. 

If you feel comfortable with the relationship, you can continue exploring more, supporting and caring for each other.

Few more points to take care of:

1. Setting up the limit or boundaries.

It varies based on the type of relationship. Everyone has a boundary both physical and emotional. If a stranger comes and put his hands on your shoulder, you feel irritated and ask him to keep some distance. At the same time, your friend can site close to you, keep his hands over your shoulder and you will still feel comfortable. Your girl friend can kiss you, sleep with you and you will not be irritated. All this is because you have in your mind, certain boundaries to people around you. 

Clarify this boundary and never try to break this boundary beyond the acceptable limits.

2. Clear picture about your position in relationship.

In some relationships, both partners have equal position and in some other relationships one may have a higher position. These positioning should be mutually accepted and the behavioural pattern must be adjusted. However such a positioning is not always admired.

3. Self protection.

All relationships include the risk of being rejected and you should be prepared to face this situation. Never be addicted to relationships. You must keep your identity while you are in a relationship. People with relationship problems often tend to lose their identity when they are committed to a relationship and this must be avoided.

4. Setting up the emotional boundaries.

The mutually agreed line of boundary in emotion should not be trespassed in relationships. Trespassing this boundary will cause a damage to the self esteem of your partner.

5. Allowing freedom each other.

Committed relationships also should allow personal freedom. Relationship is actually an agreement between two individuals and not the fusion of two individuality.

Conclusion:

We meet a lot of people every day and are in to commitments and relationships. Relationships are of many types based on the purpose of it. Relationships are beneficial if we pay a little attention to it, if not it turns out to be harmful.
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By: Shimil Varghese