Needs: Clarify the needs of your partner. All types of relationships are to be mutually beneficial. The unmet needs of an individual are met during a relationship. This is what makes a relation meaningful. Never hesitate to help your partner. The beauty of relationship is in understanding the needs and fulfilling it even before asked.
Conditions essential to development of a relationship
Rapport: Rapport means the exchange of ideas or communication. Good communication skills are necessary in relationships. Communication helps to clarify the values, understanding each others, identifying the needs of others and to develop trust.
Trust: Trust is an important factor in a relation. We open our heart to people whom we trust. Be honest in actions and conversations. You can say your opinions openly, but with respect to other’s feelings. Criticism should be in such a way that it must help the person to understand own problems and solve them. Criticism arising from love is always in this type and that from selfishness is always harmful.
Respect: Give and take respect. Respect is one of the basic needs of an individual. Respect a person because he is a unique individual. Respect a person because he is another human being.
Genuineness: Artificial or formal talks will make your partner bored. Have some fun and genuineness in your relationship. If you have something to hide from your partner, you will naturally lose your genuineness and he/she will lose trust in you. Avoid anxiety because it will ruin the freedom and you will start talking formally.
Empathy: What is empathy? Empathy is the synchronized feeling with other. For e.g. If your lover had a family problem and she is experiencing depression you can react to it in many ways. One is feeling ‘Oh! Poor girl’ and another is ‘oh my God! I can’t feel better when she is suffering this much’. In the first reaction you have sympathy and in second one you have empathy. Empathy is actually experiencing the feeling of others as our own while in sympathy, we understand others feeling but do not experience it as our own.
Nobody likes sympathy from others. Empathy is a way of telling ‘I am with you’.
Phases of relationship development:
The pre-interaction phase:
As the name suggests, it is the time before two individuals meet each other but has planned for the meeting. This is the preparatory phase. Always remember, first impression is the best impression. Do not plan the conversation in advance. It will not work. Communication should come naturally. Plan for making a better atmosphere in which both of you will feel better.
Orientation phase:
Most of the people feel anxious on their first date. It is normal but do not allow the anxiety to take control over you. Moderate level of anxiety is helpful while uncontrolled anxiety ruins everything. Physical comfort is also important. Do not keep thinking what to say next and keep your mind in what you are saying and listening at present. Conversation is not a planned task. The continuity of a conversation comes from one matter to another which has a relationship between them and so on.
By: Shimil Varghese
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