Relationship Development (page 3)

It is normal to be anxious and no need to hide it. Your partner will also be experiencing the same and once you let your anxiety come out, it will go away. If you try to hide your anxiety, that will further increase anxiety. The easiest way to avoid anxiety is by letting it to be shown outside.

Working phase:

One the first date or the orientation is over, it is time to explore each other well. Be open to your partner and let her understand you. This will help you to understand her better. This is another give and take policy in relationship. When you assess your partner, try to have an objective look rather than looking in to her with a suspicious manner. Objective assessment is when our personal opinions and prejudices does not interfere with the assessment.

Evaluation phase:

The working phase will be over when you understand your partner correctly. Many relationships will have a full stop at this point. This is because, most of the people will have unrealistic expectations from their partner and when they find out that their expectations were in vein they start disliking each other.

A clear picture of your partner with an open heart to accept their drawbacks will make your relationship strong and beautiful. If there are problems that you can never accept with your partner, you can now think of a break up. If you have such serious reasons and you are trying to adjust with it, makes your life miserable. So if you can’t adjust in any way just say goodbye. 

If you feel comfortable with the relationship, you can continue exploring more, supporting and caring for each other.

Few more points to take care of:

1. Setting up the limit or boundaries.

It varies based on the type of relationship. Everyone has a boundary both physical and emotional. If a stranger comes and put his hands on your shoulder, you feel irritated and ask him to keep some distance. At the same time, your friend can site close to you, keep his hands over your shoulder and you will still feel comfortable. Your girl friend can kiss you, sleep with you and you will not be irritated. All this is because you have in your mind, certain boundaries to people around you. 

Clarify this boundary and never try to break this boundary beyond the acceptable limits.

2. Clear picture about your position in relationship.

In some relationships, both partners have equal position and in some other relationships one may have a higher position. These positioning should be mutually accepted and the behavioural pattern must be adjusted. However such a positioning is not always admired.

3. Self protection.

All relationships include the risk of being rejected and you should be prepared to face this situation. Never be addicted to relationships. You must keep your identity while you are in a relationship. People with relationship problems often tend to lose their identity when they are committed to a relationship and this must be avoided.

4. Setting up the emotional boundaries.

The mutually agreed line of boundary in emotion should not be trespassed in relationships. Trespassing this boundary will cause a damage to the self esteem of your partner.

5. Allowing freedom each other.

Committed relationships also should allow personal freedom. Relationship is actually an agreement between two individuals and not the fusion of two individuality.

Conclusion:

We meet a lot of people every day and are in to commitments and relationships. Relationships are of many types based on the purpose of it. Relationships are beneficial if we pay a little attention to it, if not it turns out to be harmful.

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By: Shimil Varghese